… safe, consensual. Liking to wear high heels during sex can be a preference, but this crosses over into fetish when the person depends on the presence of heels to access arousal and reach orgasm.
Like with phone apps, if it exists, there’s probably a fetish for it, and as long as your fetish isn’t harming someone (non-consensually) or illegal, there’s no reason to feel concerned about the things that turn you on. Explore what turns you on! Let’s break down some of the most common fetishes, explain what they are, and how to explore them safely:
- Bondage is the act of consensually restraining or binding a partner. This can include using rope, straps, tape, cuffs, or other restraint systems that limit movement.
- On the giving end, bondage can be visually stimulating and offer an opportunity to explore the power dynamics that come with subduing a partner.
- On the receiving end, bondage can offer a unique somatic experience centered around the skin-sensation of the restraint as well as how the body feels subdued in a certain position. It also allows for release of control and responsibility, putting your partner in control.
Domination and Submission
- Dom & Sub is part of a segment of BDSM (bondage, domination/discipline, sadism, and masochism), and is a form of exchange that involves either relinquishing control or exercising power over a partner.
- It is essential to have an open discussion before engaging in any type of D/S play to establish full consent, a safe word and communicating needs, limits, desires and boundaries. It is understood that all activity and roles are to end once the safe word is spoken. This exchange also involves after-care, a time when the Dom shows specific care and support toward the Sub as they transition out of the scene and back into their everyday headspace.
- In this relationship, a Sub would surrender control to their partner. That could mean allowing themselves to be bound and controlled during sex, being told what to do, or totally relying on the approval and instruction of their partner.
- Contrarily, a Dom would accept control of their partner, which can be sexual, emotional, physical, financial, and more. For instance, a Dom may place a collar on the neck of their Sub, attach a leash and claim them as property. While it looks like the Dom has all the control, it’s the Sub who determines the dynamic, including its limits and edges, and it’s the Dom’s job to respect and enact them.
- Pumping is a fetish that revolves around the temporary enlargement of body parts, usually but not always genitals, using special pumping tools.
- Pleasure can be derived from the sensitivity boost that pumping can offer, making nipples, clitorises, penises, and more feel extra sensitive to touch due to the increased blood flow.
- Pleasure also can be derived from the enlarged and engorged appearance of the body part that’s been pumped.
Rubber / Latex / Leather
- Those within this fetish community refer to themselves as “rubberists.”
- This fetish can manifest in many forms. Some rubberists have an affinity of the smell of the material while others prefer the feel of bondage on their skin.
- These fetish pieces range from full-body catsuits, harnesses or bondage gear, to gas or face masks and leather accessories like chokers or cock rings. Luckily for those inclined, there’s always a new way to wear these materials.
- Sensory deprivation involves suppressing one of more of the senses with the intention of heightening arousal and/or playing with power dynamics.
- Some people enjoy this because they find when one sense is limited, others are heightened. Others like the submissive quality that not having access to sight, speaking, hearing, or skin sensation offers.
- This can be accomplished in a variety of ways, and there are many tools designed for effective sensory deprivation – including blindfolds, gags, hear plugs, and more.
Spanking & Impact Play
- The spanking fetish offers a range of sensations for both the spanker and the “spankee” and typically offers a sexual thrill and pleasure associated with the pain often involved.
- Everyone has a different threshold, so it’s important to communicate what intensity levels are at your limit.
- Those doing the spanking revel in the physical movements and sounds of spanking a person, while engaging in an elevated level of domination and control over their partner.
- There’s more to impact play than spanking of course – any form of impact that can be inflicted using a body part or a sex tool can fall under this category. That can include caning, stomping, poking, paddling, flogging, and more.
Littles – The Littles fetish involves a regression into childhood, which can be represented at varying degrees (e.g. wearing diapers, drinking from a baby bottle, sucking on a pacifier)
Water Sports – Water sports are sex activities involving urine.
Body Worship – Body worship is the practice of adulating a part of another person’s body.
Furries – Furries are a subculture of people who have a fascination with anthropomorphizing animals, and contrary to popular belief, being a furry is not an inherently sexual activity. Many furries enjoy this for its cosplay-like feel, an opportunity to take on a role that’s different from everyday life.
Voyeurism and exhibitionism – Voyeurism is receiving sexual gratification from watching a sexual act. Exhibitionism is receiving sexual gratification from being watched, photographed, or sharing photographs of themselves while performing a sexual act.
Swinging and Group Sex – Swinging is a lifestyle fetish that includes partner swapping. Specifically, a couple will switch partners with another couple to enjoy sexual fantasies with the new partners.
Body Piercing – Body piercing is the act of either temporarily or permanently piercing the flesh for the satisfaction and sensation of the needle. Piercings are sometimes placed in designs across the body or are used for suspension; other times, needles may be attached to a rope or vibrating toy for additional pleasure.
Sexual Role Play – Sexual role play is a self-explanatory fetish. This play entails living out a fantasy and assuming the roles of your fantasy scenario.
Cross Dressing – Cross dressing is a form of expression, involving a person intentionally dressing up in clothing and accessories typically associated with another gender. People of all sexual orientations and gender identities can enjoy cross-dressing – cross-dressing has nothing to do with being gay, straight, or transgender.
Foot Worship – Foot worship is a form of body worship and more common than you might think! This fetish includes feeling aroused from the odor of worn socks or shoes, or the taste of feet, to the appearance of feet in high heels or ornate footwear.